Ive got this problem with sex.

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Sex disease test could curb infections. Many STIs can be detected through a simple pee in a pot test. Others might require a swab inside or outside the genitals, a blood test or a physical exam. The clinic will give you your results and advise on protecting yourself and future partners from infection. If you have an STI they will provide any treatment needed. This guide from the charity Youth Health Talk includes information on treatment and people discussing their STI treatment experiences.

In terms of your ex, if you have an STI he will need to be informed. There are several ways you could do this. You can decide if you feel most comfortable letting him know via text, email, phone or in person. If you feel unable to do this, or think he will not listen to you, then staff at the clinic can get in touch with him.


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By getting tested, whatever the outcome, you are managing your sexual wellbeing. And that can leave you feeling more in control in the long term. Follow her on Twitter drpetra. Terms and Conditions. Style Book. Weather Forecast. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Saturday 09 November She is also worried about having to call him to tell him.

Dr Petra Boynton advises what to do - and says that fortunately, a clinic can make that awkward contact for you. Women worried about having an STI can ask a clinic to contact past partners for them. Feelings count, too. If you look forward to sex, and feel good about it before, during, and after, that is the true measure of whether your libido is healthy. Here's how to help combat loss of libido. Juice is not flowing - so movement is important, figuratively as well as literally," say Perel.

Common causes of a low libido

If you already walk or run or work out, try challenging yourself just a little bit further, so you feel a sense of accomplishment and vitality. That physical confidence will carry over into sexual confidence.

It may take the pressure off performance anxiety to bear in mind that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect. If you laugh off moments when things don't work right, your partner will be more likely to want to experiment the next time around, since it takes some pressure and guilt off of her, too. Yes, exploring your fantasies is now regarded by marriage therapists as a good thing. If you want your partner to share in the joy, you may want to both explore further some of the newer erotic literature and films that include female fantasies as well as male. After you've shared yours, ask your partner about her fantasies.

If she says she doesn't have any, don't stop there.

Erectile dysfunction

Instead, ask her to name just one thing she has ever wished a man would do to give her pleasure. That's a fantasy, but she may not call it that. Sure, the idea of sex being utterly spontaneous -- no planning, just the heat of the moment -- sounds great. But for anyone with jobs, family, and real lives, there just may not be enough hours in the day to wait for the inclination to arise.

Instead, turn planning into an opportunity to build anticipation, the way you look forward to going to a basketball game. Take pleasure in the details - get your partner a little gift, put on your favorite music from college days, turn off the phones and hire a babysitter to take the kids out to a long movie so there will be no interruptions.

How Much Sex Is Too Much?

For men, sexuality tends to be focused disproportionately on the genitals. Focusing on the other erogenous zones can ease performance pressure - and add new pleasure. Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, the shortest distance between two points - from arousal to orgasm -- is not necessarily a straight line to the genitals. Take detours along the whole body, for yourself and your partner. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Tease and touch and take your time. Talking is hard in the best of times, but even harder if you have been avoiding sex together and tension is high.

So if you can't talk, get one of the dozens of excellent sex books out there and point to a chapter. Cozy up and read it together. Look at the pictures, laugh - and let your partner know you're open to making things better between you. Desire feeds on newness. When you go out to a dinner party with other people, you get the chance to see your partner in a fresh light. You remember how interesting and exciting she is - and she gets to see you shine as well. You remember why you were attracted to each other in the first place. When you have an electrical problem, you call an electrician, right?


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Sex and marital specialists can be just as helpful when it comes to loss of libido, so get over your resistance to asking for directions, and call one. Check with your doctor or urologistto rule out any medical conditions that may be playing a part. If you are taking medication, such as an antidepressant , that may be causing loss of libido, discuss alternatives with your doctor.

To help identify the early warning signs, see whether you answer the following questions true or false: Touching takes place only in the bedroom. Sex does not give you feelings of connection and sharing. One of you is always the initiator and the other feels pressured. You no longer look forward to sex. Sex is mechanical and routine. You almost never have sexual thoughts or fantasies about your spouse. You have sex once or twice a month at most.

Erectile Dysfunction Causes Loss of Libido Impotence, or ED, erectile dysfunction , is not the same as loss of libido, but when you experience one, sooner or later you are likely to feel the other as well.

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UTIs After Sex - What I Learned And How I Overcame Constant UTIs

Performance Anxiety and Loss of Libido Men report two major problems -- anxiety about performance and climaxing too early, according to Laumann. Stress Leads to Loss of Libido Job stress and self-esteem are also big factors. Medications Can Interfere With Libido. The Quality of the Relationship Is an Important Part of Libido It is not only women who respond - with sexiness or inhibited sexuality - to how happy they are in their relationship. Too Much Togetherness Can Sap Libido The paradox of modern relationships is that greater intimacy may not make for better sex.

Get physical and Boost Libido. Continued "When you have no desire you feel frozen. Keep Expectations Real It may take the pressure off performance anxiety to bear in mind that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect.

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